你告诉我说，要我等你，我觉得我能。我是不是很傻呢？知道这件事的朋友都说我很傻，骂我很笨，干嘛要为个伤害过你的人等待呢？当作天你和我说其中个理由你不要供开是因为她时，我真的很伤心，因为你还是在意她，在意他们的看法， 在意他们会说你这么快就开始一断念情。那，当你在意他们是，你有没有想到我的感受呢？我是什么呢？你说你会在意当别人看到我们拖手，那我就不在意吗？我放下所有追求我的人，只为了等你？
我怕，我真的怕，我怕我等不到你。。。。。
你叫我去你的xmas party ， 老实说，我真的很想去，但，我是用什么身份去呢？朋友? 好朋友？还是女朋友呢？无可否认，我先在真的很爱你，我也不知为什么？？？可是请你不要让我吊里朗当好吗？
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
24 November 2009
Is tired for me for whole day working and been follow up. Steve, who is the one i long time never met him. We seem bit difference from last time, i guess is maybe we are working now and what we think in our mind is just money. Saw him been wearing a bowling T-shirt and drove a big car, i know that he is now sure been earning a lot. When he saw me, he just feel shocked that he told me i seem like chage to another person who more pretty that last time. He told me i become more mature and more OL look. But, all i think is just outsider as we say " i see you good, you see me good". Even i am look like more professional than him, but in fact i am just an account executive while he is a part of director.
During over conservation, we been saying a lot pass history. I was been scoled by him when i told him that i am still missing HIM. He say i will find someone better than him alot. But i think all depend on feeling and luck. Love for me now is just let it be because i am scare of it.
When my phone was ring around 1.51am , i was wondering who the hell was calling me in this so late. It just make me awake and is weired when i can automatically wake up and picked up the called. When i saw clearly the number OMG, is 012- 2715180. Is HIM, i thought i was in a dream because i just cant imagine he called me. Picked his called with full of suprising and happiness and i knew he was unhappy this round. Because i know i will just received his called when he is sad. His sound seem like after drinking , he is arguing with her and i can feel how much he loved her.
This round, he told me is difference with pass argument. He told me maybe she got another person in his heart. And she just do comparison between HIM and another guy. After a while chatting, he wanted come to my house and i know this round sure got things happend and i was agreeing too. AM i so stupid with this?I hate myself that i am not supposed to do all this things again when it started say we will not contact to each other anymore. I should not be a gal that he always can look for when he is arguing with her. Is really unfair for me. But, my heart is telling me , please forgive him as i know he also dont wish this kind of things happend and he is forced to being lost contact with me.
When he reach my house, as usual we will chit-chat and i can saw thru his eyes told me a word "SORRY" to me. He keep applogize to me as what she done to me. Around 3,30am, we end our conversation and when i opened door for me, he suddenly hug me from behind. And he hugs me until i cant breath, i know he wanted to kiss me, but i just ignore because i know i should do all this anymore while i know he still love HER so much. I been telling myself, can i just do what i want? Can i just get back him to my side? But, i just cant pass thru my heart because i dun wish to see HIM sad anymore. I dont want him to be middleman anymore. I rather hurt myself intead of you.
Today, i just think of you and feel like wanted to go sing k again with you. I get the phone and started sms you, but i know things is difference as previous, is difference voice when u talked to me previous, you not even like to reply my message as previous. You just called me back and when i am asking weather want to sing k tomorrow, you just say you might not free for tomorro. I knew you was trying hard to say NO to me , you say you will calld me and confirm, but in fact i know you just dont know how to say NO to me.
You said we might not meet after yesterday, i am really sad when heard this. Because i know your heart is still the most with HER. If there is one more time, i will choose you and appreciate you in my life. But, everything happend for a reason, and i know we wont be together at the end unless there is micricle. Today is he will called me back? I am really no idea. Should i continue soft hearted to him or just ignore him?
During over conservation, we been saying a lot pass history. I was been scoled by him when i told him that i am still missing HIM. He say i will find someone better than him alot. But i think all depend on feeling and luck. Love for me now is just let it be because i am scare of it.
When my phone was ring around 1.51am , i was wondering who the hell was calling me in this so late. It just make me awake and is weired when i can automatically wake up and picked up the called. When i saw clearly the number OMG, is 012- 2715180. Is HIM, i thought i was in a dream because i just cant imagine he called me. Picked his called with full of suprising and happiness and i knew he was unhappy this round. Because i know i will just received his called when he is sad. His sound seem like after drinking , he is arguing with her and i can feel how much he loved her.
This round, he told me is difference with pass argument. He told me maybe she got another person in his heart. And she just do comparison between HIM and another guy. After a while chatting, he wanted come to my house and i know this round sure got things happend and i was agreeing too. AM i so stupid with this?I hate myself that i am not supposed to do all this things again when it started say we will not contact to each other anymore. I should not be a gal that he always can look for when he is arguing with her. Is really unfair for me. But, my heart is telling me , please forgive him as i know he also dont wish this kind of things happend and he is forced to being lost contact with me.
When he reach my house, as usual we will chit-chat and i can saw thru his eyes told me a word "SORRY" to me. He keep applogize to me as what she done to me. Around 3,30am, we end our conversation and when i opened door for me, he suddenly hug me from behind. And he hugs me until i cant breath, i know he wanted to kiss me, but i just ignore because i know i should do all this anymore while i know he still love HER so much. I been telling myself, can i just do what i want? Can i just get back him to my side? But, i just cant pass thru my heart because i dun wish to see HIM sad anymore. I dont want him to be middleman anymore. I rather hurt myself intead of you.
Today, i just think of you and feel like wanted to go sing k again with you. I get the phone and started sms you, but i know things is difference as previous, is difference voice when u talked to me previous, you not even like to reply my message as previous. You just called me back and when i am asking weather want to sing k tomorrow, you just say you might not free for tomorro. I knew you was trying hard to say NO to me , you say you will calld me and confirm, but in fact i know you just dont know how to say NO to me.
You said we might not meet after yesterday, i am really sad when heard this. Because i know your heart is still the most with HER. If there is one more time, i will choose you and appreciate you in my life. But, everything happend for a reason, and i know we wont be together at the end unless there is micricle. Today is he will called me back? I am really no idea. Should i continue soft hearted to him or just ignore him?
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